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Saturday, February 28, 2009

its been a lazy day so far...but nice :) its raining out so all i really feel like doing is sipping my coffee and reading the paper. unfortanately its almost 2 so i really need to get out of the house haha. last night was realllyy fun! and i didnt even drink :) i was proud of myself for that because regularly i HATE being sober when everyone else is drunk. the guy i like was there and we had a good chat soo hopefully something fun will happen with that ;)

anywayyss. i took my first slim shot this morning with breakfast (which was at 1230 so im not sure id call it breakfast haha) but i still feel very full. which is good. and all i had was oatmeal and coffee :) i was going to eat the egg whites but i just wasnt hungry anymore. yayy. not sure what im gonna do for the rest of the day but i really want to have a fun night. i weighed myself this morning and i was a pound less than i'd thought i was (also considering i didnt have the best week.....). i still havent gotten below 137 but ahh im going to get there this week!!! i would love to be in the 135 range by the time i hoppped on the plane for florida! that would be so nice.
so im definately sticking to my plan today....i should probably go workout now too.

b: oatmeal w. a few raisins +black coffee: 200?
l: veggie burger: 90
s: apple slices +slimshot: 80
d: i think im going to moes and am going to get a joey junior: 400

edit: i just did the shape bikini body countdown sculpting routine and my legs feel like jello!!! ahh so hopefully that helped me out a bit. i want to go workout but its almost 3 so its getting kind of late in the day. i think im gonna go though anyway.

outtake:
-30 minutes strength training (-100)

^^such good thinspo for me because i have that bathing suit. looks amazing on her though

1:48 PM - 34 views - 10 eprops - 6 comments - email it

Friday, February 27, 2009

today has been shitty. it was cold and rainy and i had 2 tests and a fucking pop quiz in econ (which i most likely bombed) and just UGHHHHHH. haaha. also ive just eaten badly. i fucked up at lunch. and i had antoehr BITE OF A COOKIE!!! what the fuck is wrong with me!!! im supposed to be giving it up for lent, not eating it every damn day.
anyway. ive probably consumed around 1200ish already. so im done for the day. also i got slimshots today!! and i just took one. and i feel like stuffed. soo hopefully ill last for the rest of the night. the only thing is tonight i think were having poker night at this guy's house. which means there will be food and alcohol present. hopefully ill just be able to have diet coke with vodka (ewie i know). and not too muchh.
i just feel really lost with the whole weight loss process right now. i dont understand how its impossible for me to lose weight. just really sucks. i dont even know what im gonna do in college. i definately can't have this then and there is no way im going to be able to count all my calories. hopefully by then ill be skinny and able to just make healthy choices.

this is my intake plan for tomorrow:
b-2 hard boiled egg whites (30)+ oatmeal (160) +slim shot (12 pm)
l: soup on the go- 120 +slim shot (4 pm)
s: apple-80 (5:30 pm)
d: fish? salad? something healthy....300 max (7:00 pm)
exercise-burn at least 250-300 cals.

5:49 PM - 33 views - 12 eprops - 7 comments - email it

Thursday, February 26, 2009

hey guys...sorry its just gonna be a quick update. i'll comment everyone back later tonight. i have 2 tests tomorrow and am going out to dinner for my friends birthday so i dont have much time.
seriously everyone thank you so much for the comments. it means a lot to know that i have so much support here. so keeep 'em coming--i'll always post you back :)

intake so far is 600 calories. :)
and i just burned 350 at the gym. so its been a good day. hopefully ill be able to eat healthy choice tonight (and if theres nothing too healthy to order i just wont eat that much of it) were going to a pretty fancy restaurant so im sure ill have some options.

ive been on my period for almost a fuckkinnn week. what the hell? it regularly lasts like 3-4 days. anywayy i know you gain during your period, but how long should i weight to weigh myself AFTEr my period? i hear you dont go back down until around 2 days after it stops??

oh and ive decided i really like this guy. we had fun together in econ today. the only thing is he is a little shy. (and so am i!!!) so we'll see how that goes. prom is in 2 monthss---and i want a good date!!!

p.s. while i was working out, i had this realization that food is so WORTHLESS. like i realized how much time i spent thinking about food and how it has taken over my life. but really the people and things you do in life are so much better than food could ever be. sure you can enjoy it, but there is NO need to gorge yourself on something that will do NOTHING for you in the long run. just something to think about....

edit: 10:00pm
--so dinner was so much fun!!!! all our friends got along really well (which is unusual for us) and i laughed a lot and it made me happy :) I TOTALLY AVOIDED TH BREAD BASKET.!! ha i drove with a friend there and was like okay dont let me eat any bread. and for some reason i decided to order a risotto?? i know its a bad choice bc it probably had a TON of calories in it...but i really didnt eat most of it. it was like chicken and sausage but i didint have any of the sausage and mostly just ate the chicken. but then they brought out this amazing looking cake. and of course i ate it. and honestly, im happy that i did because it was DELICIOUS. and food should be enjoyed. so i dont regret anything that i ate (except maybe i should've just ordered a salad and eaten the cake). so my intake was probably like 1600's....but thats okay. all it means is that i REALLY need to buckle down this weekend. i need to restrict. friday, saturday, sunday=800 calories max. the plan will be to sleep in til at least 12 everyday. and no going out to dinner (but if i have to, eat before and just have a diet coke) also lots of exercise and will do my bikini challenge plan (ahh which i have yet to do). also i havent purged in almost two weeks :) im happy.

xoxo

9:53 PM - 38 views - 10 eprops - 7 comments - email it

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

so my raw food fast is going strong...but then i realized today is my dad's birthday...so im gonna have to eat dinner. i think my mom said we might be having lobster (like my favorite thing evverr!!) so ill just avoid the cake or pie or whatever we have and just have the lobster. lobster is fine calorie wise though so i think i should be okay.

i just realized spring break is in a WEEK FROM SATURDAY!!! holy shit...its really time to buckle down!!!!! i neeed to buy hot spring break clothes before i go too.

ugh, recently i've just felt that my dieting has totally been hurting my social life. i have to turn down invites all the time to avoid the bad food. and it sucks because none of my friends are in the same position as me. most of them have perfect bodies and then one just doesnt care what she eats (shes about 5'8" and 145ish pounds?) and then the other is relaly self-conscious and she goes to the gym a lot but she eats liek a MOTHERFUCKER! so it really sucks having to chose between my friends and my body. im really worried about spring break. i know im going to be consuming a lot of alcohol and goign out to dinner a ton. i just hope that i just get so drunk/hungover ill be too naseuous to eat. whenever i get really drunk the next day i dont eat ANYTHING :) . its fine if i dont lose over spring break...i just dont want to gain and ruin everything i've done in the past few months.

also, ive decided im giving up cookies and brownies for lint (not that i have that much of these) but if i ever make this stuff with my friends i have a GOOD excuse for not eating them :) soo i actually have cookie dough and brownie mix in my house right now so im gonna make it today and give it to my friend for her birthday tomorrow. it will be hard not to sample any of them....but im going to resist.

sorry to keep going on i just have one more thing to say. in all the health magazines they have "bikini countdown" challenges and whatnot and they give you a diet plan. yet somehow they suggest you consume about 1600-1800 calories on it?!?!?! i mean wtf. ive been eating 1200 calories a day and exercisign a good amount but im not losing any weight! i really dont get it. ive been doign this for almost 3 months and my appearance hasn't really changed. sure ilost the initial 5 lbs but after that it has just STOPPEd. what am i doing wrong??? im trying to be healthy and lose weight because thats the only way ill be able to make this a lifestyle. but seriously, come on. im gonna do the bikini countdown exercises in the latest shape magazine starting today. it looks challenging but i really want to get toned :) maybe thats why ihavent been losing? bc ive only been doing cardio?? i have no ideeaaaaaa.

edit:
avoided dessert at dinner but i did have one brownie and one cookie (whoooppsies...) but oh well im not mad because i wont be having them for another 40 days!!! --and it could've been a lot more than that too.
intake: 825. ehh

xoxo

12:03 PM - 71 views - 26 eprops - 16 comments - email it

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

ugh i just binged. funny how my definition of binged has changed over the past few months.
anyway, i was going strong today ( i bought fruit for snack and skipped out on going out to lunch with my friends at this mexican place) then i came home for lunch and did so-so (probably 350 calories?) and then after school i was just HUNGRY. i had a slimfast bar (220) which supposedly curbs your appetite for up to 4 hours...hmm bullshit. and then i ate a rice cake (35), some go lean cereal (100) almonds (50) 2 dibs(30) and then i was like shit what did i just do and then i go and eat a nature valley bar (90). i am fucking retarded. soo ive pretty much reached 1200 calories (FUCK!) andd i realllly didnt want to workout today. but i guess i will. ill probably go around 6 because im still feeling really tired and full right now. now im DEFINATELY not weighing myself tomorrow. now i have to burn over 400 calories at the gym. super

tomorrow i only have one class--(its a half day, but i mostly have free periods) so i only have to be at school from 9:25-10:20 then ill probably go back to bed and then workout and clean and be active and do homework. but tomorrow will be a veryy verry good day! its a PROMISE
spring break is soo soon. i just tried on bathing suits at target. all i can say is gross.

edit: 10pm
fuck....i had binge round 2 at around 7. i dont really want to talk about it..but im guessing my intake was around 1600 for the day (could easily be more though...i tend to underestimate)
well after i decided to go to the gym and i had a really good workout!
-30 minutes on the elliptical+ 35 minutes on the bike= -530 calories
so luckily that got rid of a lot. i really dont know what came over me. and the worst part about is that i didnt even get to binge on yummy foods! it was like granola bars and fiber one cereal and almonds??? like wtf. id much rather of had some pizza or cake. haa oh well i guess this is better for me. i read SKINNY BITCH while on the bikes which was super motivating. tomorrow im going on raw food fast (fruits+veggies only) definately doing it for 24 hours and maybe more depending on how i feel.

hope your days went better than mine....

10:01 PM - 36 views - 10 eprops - 5 comments - email it

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